When Anger Comes…

I remember standing outside the Iron Dome in Israel and just bawling my eyes out. I was so overwhelmed with anger because I couldn’t bare the fact that an idol and temple to another God was built on the very same space that once was an altar and temple for the one true living God.

It crushed my soul to see something so sacred be vandalized by the world.

Recently I stopped to think and was reminded that this anger was still deeply rooted in the depths of my heart. I also realized it was not just because of a place but people. Vandalization by the world is not marked by a building or a strip but rather vandalization of the heart of men. You see the body is a temple, a home for the living Spirit to come and dwell in. As I sat in a moment of vulnerability I was grieved to find my very heart had been vandalized by the same gods in Israel.

The gods that pursue the latest trends, the latest artists, the right friends, the ideal man, and the perfect image I desire for myself.

So why didn't my heart break as quickly as it did that day at the iron dome?

I can't say what day this was but I reckon one day the world seemed too broken to carry the weight of my anger. So my heart opted to grieve and my mind opted to forget. A seemingly easier path to take.

Quietly a voice spoke to me saying will your heart break for what breaks mine? Will your heart break when you are led astray to make the perfect image for yourself? Will it break when you have a lustful thought toward a brother? Will it break when you hear unwholesome words and actions in entertainment? Will it break when there's conflict between two friends? Will it break when you become complacent in my living, breathing word?

Will your heart break for what breaks mine?

Then I wept, realizing my sin.

Anger is prompted by grief. Grief stirred by the unrighteous vandalization of the Holy presence of God.

If I’m honest it scares me to live a life fully aware of this. For my heart wanders to the sin of illusion as a loathsome worm wanders to the depths of the cold moistened ground. Burrowing deep to avoid the irrefutable presence of the outside world.

As I spoke this out loud to my God, I realized it scared me more that I lost the fear of my God in exchange for the fear of mankind. For who stands worthy to be saved before the King of kings without knowing the heart of the King of kings? No one.

So I prayed the Lord would strengthen my heart that had grown tired of the condition of the world.

“He gives strength to the weary, And to the one who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, Yet those who wait for the Lord Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:29-31‬ ‭NASB2020‬‬

And He met me not with flashes of lighting that changed my heart immediately. Rather, He meets me with a gentle whisper and a slight nod of the head to remember to wait on Him.

He meets my soul with rest that teaches me how me to surrender my anger to Him alone.

And He tells me that anger doesn’t have to lead to numbness; when anger can lead us back to the heart of our Father.

A Father who comforts, carries, ignites, and renews our strength for another tomorrow.

When anger comes... sit still long enough to see what God wants to do and will do next.

A photo taken by my friend HG.