A Theology of Perfection

Everything in my life has never quite been perfect, but I sure have strived for it to be. I wanted the perfect life; the perfect job, the perfect appearance, the perfect disposition, and the perfect relationship with God. Even after many reminders of my failure to obtain it, my striving for perfection didn’t seem to stop.

For many years I’d lay awake at night restless and full of fear. Listening to the lies inside my mind that said what I did wasn’t enough. Crippling my own esteem because I believed it, I believed what I did wasn’t enough. I believed I could never measure up to what I assumed God needed me to be. I assumed I already failed before I even had the chance to begin.

As I continue on in faith, I’m starting to understand that my standard for perfection was never from God. Rather, it was a measure I had made for myself. A measure the Devil delightfully used for his own benefit.

In this realization, I have become determined to start to look at life in a new way; a better way. A life filled with flaws. A life that allows me the freedom to love my God and make decisions that make me happy, even if it doesn’t hold to my thought of perfection.

Because guess what, life isn’t perfect and it never will be. It can’t be, at least not here in this time and space. But what it can be is filled with things that bring myself and others immense joy. Unfiltered joy that doesn’t force suffering for the sake of suffering. Joy that doesn’t shame someone into becoming someone they’re not. Joy that changes our hearts and teaches us how to steward the desires we do have. It’s not wrong to follow your heart contrary to popular belief. God gave us a heart to make decisions with. There are some who will misinterpret the verse Jeremiah 17:9, and say we should ignore our hearts. While missing the significance of the following verse, Jeremiah 17:10.

““The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, To give to each person according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds.”

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭17‬:‭9‬-‭10‬ ‭NASB2020‬‬

The Lord searches our hearts and HE tests our minds.

I realized in my study that I have spent a majority of my life trying to be God so I could avoid His judgment. I lived in fear of my inadequacy and my brokenness. While I presented myself as free in Jesus, I found I was enslaved to an unobtainable perfection.

Constantly questioning my feelings and hating my imperfect heart. And my friends, that is not a life that is free in Christ Jesus.

Your joy and your happiness are not a sin. Your desire to love, to find peace, to have fun, they are not a sin. They are opportunities to walk in freedom with Jesus. If you love the Lord then you will seek with everything in your heart to honor Him. If that is your focus I promise He will take care of all the rest. He will reveal sin, and when He does you won’t have to shame yourself into changing. In freedom you will change because you want to, and because you love Him. And you love Him because you see just how much He loves you.

The perfect life… is ironically a life that tends to be not so perfect at all.

And that my friends is a life worth living.